Sitting at Sloan the last day of Healing Treatments in February and this week at Robert Wood Johnson for the end of the love beam phase I felt like we were “locals” – both places no one ever signs up with bells on to be a local at! We knew the drill…we knew our drill…we know the people….the people know us. We know when they’re getting married and what color they’re painting their kitchens and how based on my case they’ll always trust their intuition. We’ve talked brands of running sneakers and talked about possible speaking gigs for 2 major hospitals. We’ve joked with them since day one and now they joked with us a lot more. (I don’t think they think they’re allowed to be funny….since Cancer is such a serious matter.) We get them, they get us and this was (until right now) our new normal….until it wasn’t…..and now it isn’t. Normal – -what it is really?
It’s funny how those 2 things (relationships and new normalness) happened. We were positive, upbeat, funny and went with the flow right from the beginning of this ride… that is our normal…it doesn’t matter what our routine actually is.
We went from helping nurses see that “the red devil” as she called chemo treatments could be flipped to “healing nectar” making them healing treatments….to radiation therapists cracking up when I told them to shoot me up with the love beams. The woman that took my blood during the 8 treatments said she felt better after each time she took my blood because she was able to see things differently, because I was different. The guys at the parking garage took stains off the hood of the car, the 7-11 guys wanted to give us free coffee,…overall this experience went really well. (Just a heads up I’m not negating anyone’s experiences of what this is like for them in any way. And yes I did sleep more and ingested boatloads of anti nausea meds during that healing treatment phase.)
Why am I writing this…..more reflective, more asking questions maybe (I know you’re shocked). It had me thinking …..Everyday gives you an opportunity to create a new normal….what do you want your normal to be?
This is where you get to “do you”…….slight catch if you don’t know who you are or who you want to be then this could be difficult.
I know I want to be the words that describe me….fun….pumped up….connector (I love connecting with people and connecting people)…loving…..free….and being in integrity. When I look back over the roller coaster ride I’ve been on the last 9 and a half months – I’ve been that…That “normal” remained consistent.
I’ve learned a lot…. it was an education and a half into myself and into people that are in my life. Love support and caring came from so so many! I felt love from all over the world….literally! Which kept me so much in alignment with who I really am. I allowed people to help me and do things for me and it felt really nice; especially since I love doing things for other people. From the boots to the flowers, fruit, food, baskets, bandanas, pictures, games, coloring books, the prayer groups, the healing oils, fun clothing, emails, voicemails, text messages it all meant so much. And my heart felt so big from all the love I received.
Quite frankly (sadly, disappointed and surprisingly…apparently my cop radar wasn’t on high alert anymore!), some people weren’t there with me while I was going through this. And in turn this was actually fabulous for me to stay in alignment with who I am….it was like bright neon exit signs which allowed me to get rid of relationships and things that didn’t work anymore. I got to see what’s really important to people and what isn’t. It’s freeing and I send them love and hope that someday they actually get it….I hope they get it…
Our weird surreal (not too sure how I feel about that word) ride to Sloan the last day and RWJ for the last time felt as bizarre as the first ride in…..like ‘holy crap we really have to freakin do this’ to ‘holy crap we’re done doing this, we’re really freakin done doing this….AMEN…..what’s next?’
It doesn’t matter what is next…we’re ready to adapt. Our now new normal is here….I’ve been sprung from Love Beams for a few days and we’ve already done 2 speaking gigs, and jumped on a plane for another Leadership engagement. We’re already adapting really well…creating our next new normal.
The question is: are you? What’s your now normal? What’s your new normal? What are you learning about yourself? What are you learning about life as you go through your normal…. is it time to create a new one? How do you feel about what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with? If it’s not working what are you willing to do?